1 post tagged “donny”
In some senses, it’s too early to make predictions about the roiling wasps' nest that is Celebrity Big Brother but to hell with sense:
- Donny Tourette will be continue to be the most interesting housemate but we will discover that he secretly a frightened school boy with a Johnny Rotten fetish
- Ken will be evicted first
- H (I'm sorry...Ian) and Jo will form a hideous singing duo to match the sheer mundane misery of his earlier collaboration with Claire (also ex-Steps, now probably performing in a terrible musical)
- Dirk Benedict will leave the house recognised as a great modern wit
- Danielle will expose her breasts in a number of the lesser men's magazines (this is hardly Nostradamus territory as we have a long precedent to call upon)
- Leo Sayer will be driven clinically insane from having to sleep next to Donny's incredibly pale naked form
- Jermaine Jackson will walk, driven mad by Donny's germs
- Towers of will become a permanent fixture in the tabloids and Donny will be linked to a celebrity love. There will be no improvement in his record sales
- Ken will make enough money from newspaper interviews to create his bizarre Odeon style mausoleum with his films on loop, him stuffed to greet people and his ex-wifes made up as embalmed usherettes
- Shilpa's career will be destroyed
- Carole will remain a non-entity and return to writing bile in a tedious tabloid, only this will now be littered with references to her new celebrity 'friends'
Quotes of the day:
Donny Tourette (after being asked about his influences by Jermaine): "I like front men, Freddy Mercury, Axl Rose...even your f*cking brother at a push." [The tact and delicacy shown by Donny makes him an ideal candidate for the Peace Corps or a role in international diplomacy.]
Russell Brand on Donny's conversations with Ken Russell: "It's like Nick Cotton bullying Godfrey from Dad's Army."
